In Hollywood, the image of a harried dad is portrayed as a comical situation, the consequences of which rarely go beyond a clumsy diaper change or a cry of frustration.
But in real life, experts say the stresses of parenthood can pose challenges to parents’ mental health, with implications not only for their physical health, but also for the well-being of their children.
The precise challenges will be unique to each parent, said Dr. Kate Gawlik, an advanced practice nurse and associate clinical professor at the Ohio State College of Nursing in Columbus. But overall, “the son’s mental health and behavior is closely intertwined with that of his father,” said Gawlik, who is also co-director of her college’s health and wellness bachelor’s degree program.
Neither researchers nor society as a whole has always emphasized the importance of dad’s mental health, said Dr. Sheehan Fisher, an associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago. “Traditionally, we have thought that if the mother is well, that is what has an impact on the child. But we know that the father has a direct impact on the mental health, medical and developmental outcomes of the child.”
The challenges can begin as soon as parenthood begins. “It has been well established that fathers are at increased risk for symptoms of depression and anxiety during the perinatal period,” just before and after the baby is born, Fisher said.
About 10% of new dads suffer from postpartum depression, Fisher said, with the highest risk occurring three to six months after the birth of a child. That’s less than half the rate among women. It could also be an underestimate, he said, because traditional indicators may not fully account for depression in parents.
“Men tend to mask their depression through alcohol or illicit substances, or engage in aggressive behavior,” such as verbal or physical aggression, or even hypersexuality, Fisher said.
The effects on children also appear to start early. In a review of research on parents and mental health that was published in the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine in 2016, Fisher wrote that depression in parents has been linked to negative behaviors in their children from infancy through childhood. early. Later in a child’s life, paternal depression has been shown to influence the likelihood that a child will develop depression or anxiety in adolescence and young adulthood.
Parenthood also brings stress. As every parent knows, parenting can be one of the most rewarding, but also one of the most challenging, experiences anyone can go through, said Gawlik, who has four children. “The stakes are high,” she said. “You are literally responsible for other human beings that you cannot control.”
In unpublished findings drawn from an online survey of 722 fathers of children under 18 for a recent report on fatherhood that Gawlik co-authored, 44% of men reported feeling burnout, which the report defined as “stress and chronic exhaustion that exceeds the ability to cope and function as a parent.” Burnout, the report said, can leave parents feeling distanced from their children and physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.
“Another thing our research found was that many parents feel alone,” Gawlik said. In his survey, 79% of fathers and 75% of dads said they would like to have more interaction with adults outside of work. “And when parents feel alone and isolated, their burnout also increases.”
Mothers face their own physical and mental challenges. Maternal depression can affect children in many ways, and in Gawlik’s survey, 55% of mothers reported feeling burned out, even higher than men.
All of this has implications for heart health: stress, depression and loneliness have been linked to cardiovascular problems.
Fathers who do not suffer from depression can act as a buffer for children when mothers experience problems, research has shown. But Fisher, a single father of a 5-year-old daughter, said society is generally better at recognizing the needs of new moms than those of dads.
For example, the American Academy of Pediatrics encourages screening for signs of depression in both fathers and mothers. Their recommendations call for examining mothers during well-child visits several times during the first six months, but only once for fathers.
Meanwhile, many modern parents work without a prototype to guide them as they try to fulfill their traditional duties and learn to parent in ways that previous generations did not model, Fisher said. “They are not always sure what their role is, or how they can play it, because they do not have examples.”
Although much of the research has focused on biological fathers, he said, most of the findings do not seem to be limited to just biological fathers.
“We need to expand perinatal research to understand the experiences of parents of sexual and gender minorities and diverse family structures,” Fisher said. “We suspect that some of the fathers’ experiences might also apply to non-biological fathers in general, but they have many unique experiences that we need to understand.”
Fisher suggested several ways to support parents, some on a broad scale and others on an individual basis.
On a societal level, he said fathers in the United States typically don’t have access to parental leave during the crucial days after a child arrives, and when they do, they take less time off than mothers. Both fathers and mothers pale in comparison to other industrialized countries.
“This really puts them at a disadvantage during an extremely crucial period in their lives,” Fisher said.
On a personal level, he said, dads should be aware of potential mental health problems and be willing to acknowledge that they need help. Men often do not seek treatment for their medical needs, and depression can make this problem worse, he said.
Men should be honest with themselves if they feel depressed, down or anxious, and also “take into account the opinion of other people who might notice that your behavior is not normal. You yourself might notice that you have a drink too many each night, or you might notice a little more irritability.”
A professional can provide help, Fisher said. “Being evaluated allows you to know the recommendations and options available to support you,” he said, and this doesn’t always mean medications or therapies.
Gawlik agrees that culture needs to be more supportive of modern parenting. “I truly feel like this is an area where, as a society, as communities, we are not doing enough.”
Sometimes a parent can identify problems and reach out to others to find relief, she said. For example, if a parent is stressed because he feels like everything he does is reduced to taking his children to extracurricular activities, creating a ride-sharing system could help.
Talking to other parents at those activities can help in many other ways, especially for dads, she said.
If a child has a specific problem, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), “it would be great to connect with other parents who also have children with ADHD, because they are going through what you are going through,” she said. Those other parents can provide empathy and possibly share strategies that have worked for them.
Real-life connections can help with another common stressor: the idea that everyone else knows how to parent. “Setting out to be perfect all the time is not a realistic expectation,” Gawlik said. “So we really need to consider adjusting our expectations, not only for ourselves, but for our children.”
She has done that herself, she has learned to celebrate that toys are always scattered around a house that was previously impeccable, because this is proof that there, children play and are creative.
Their work suggests that a child’s mental health improves when his or her father and mother spend time playing with him, and that it worsens as the amount of extracurricular activities increases. Since a child’s mental health issues contribute significantly to the stress levels of both the mother and the father, that means that a father who focuses on the fundamental relationship with his child could see benefits across the board.
The solutions, like the problems, will vary from person to person, Gawlik said, but it’s important to act early. “It’s all about prevention,” she said. “Once you get into a burnout cycle, it’s harder to get out of.”
Fisher also emphasized the need for dads to develop a supportive community, even if they feel well. Self-care, which includes regular health checkups and finding time to relax, is important “to ensure you are taking care of your overall well-being, which impacts the entire family.”
American Heart Association News reports on heart and brain news. The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the official position of the American Heart Association. American Heart Association, Inc. is the owner or copyright holder, and all rights are reserved.