In the middle of the crisis, it was like living the life of an Amar actress in troubled times.”

He Bipolar disorder It affects more people than you think. In fact, it is believed that their figures may be underestimated. It can affect 2% of the population, which makes it a fairly common disorder, except that, since there is a lot of stigma, people do not tell about it, the doctor regrets. Edward Vieta, head of the Psychiatrist and Psychologist Service at the Hospital Clnic de Barcelona and director of the Bipolar Disorder group in the Neurosciences area of ​​Idibaps. A stigma that Isabel Gimneza native of Matar and 50 years old, has known since she was diagnosed at 35. Her case is out of the ordinary, the usual thing is for this disease to debut in adolescence or, at the latest, in the early twenties.

His life began to become destabilized due to family and work issues. Gimnez worked in a bank and, at that time, in 2009, many offices were closing due to the economic crisis. So she was transferred from her workplace and her responsibilities grew. The only thing she did was go to work and get me under the covers to sleep, if she could, or to imagine a parallel reality, she remembers.

His way of escaping consisted of watching television, specifically, the Spanish Television seriesLoving in troubled times. There was an actress who wanted to commit suicide and I mimicked it, I wanted to do the same as her. It was a very strange thing, she explains. When Giménez thought about how to get out of here, fiction gave him the answer. It was as if she lived in someone else’s life. If that character talked about pills, that night she dreamed about it, she adds.

An attempt was made to take his life on two occasions within a couple of months. First, in May. My mother found me, but since we are very good at lying, I made her believe that the situation was something specific, she points out. Nothing could be further from the truth. Giménez became more and more withdrawn into herself. So much so that in June she had another self-harm attempt, this time, in her office, which led her to hospitalization for 21 days.

Precisely, when this disorder is not addressed correctly, the risk of suicide increases. Generally, for every kill, there are 20 attempts. In this disorder, this figure rises to one in five, says Dr. Vieta, considered one of Spain’s great experts in this pathology, who adds: Almost 20% of the deaths of these patients are due to suicide, he explains. . Hence, early diagnosis is essential.

A disorder with a clear genetic component

Giménez’s diagnosis did not take long to arrive. Having a close family member who had it made it obvious to the doctors. The cause is biological and genetic. The limbic system, responsible for the regulation of emotions, functions incorrectly in these patients, which is why they experience sudden changes in mood without any apparent reason to justify it. There are phases of depression, in which they have no enthusiasm, strength or motivation – which is characterized by a decrease in serotonin – and manic phases, in which they are accelerated, have a lot of energy and self-esteem – with an increase in dopamine levels. —, exemplifies the doctor from the Catalan hospital.

There are four types of bipolar disorder described: bipolar disorder type Itype II, cyclothymia and the bipolar schizoaffective disorder. Gimnez suffers from the second, which is defined by having less severe episodes of euphoria, although depressive episodes may be of greater intensity in this class. The hands are lower. In type I, the person may leave home at night and no one knows where he or she is; In my case, for example, I stop sleeping and start fixing a closet at three in the morning. They are manias, but smaller and less dangerous, he says.

For its part, cyclothymia is characterized by mild variations in mood that, despite occurring with less intensity, also reduce the quality of life and functionality of its patients; and schizoaffective disorder is very similar to bipolar type I, with the characteristic that schizoaffective disorder usually manifests itself with hallucinations and delusions, even during the asymptomatic phases of the illness.

I thought: “Why does this have to happen to me, love?”

With the diagnosis, he had a bittersweet feeling. First, relief. Then, guilt. I thought: “Why does this happen to me if I have always done what I should?” He acknowledges that the acceptance period was hard, although time has helped him. Today she is treasurer of a mental health association and she fights against stigma, and what is worse: self-stigma, which she also felt. Many people don’t say it. Sometimes, when we go to give talks at the university, you see that a boy gets excited and tells you that his mother also has it, but that she doesn’t want it to be known, she regrets.

This leads to the disease not being understood and people tending to romanticize it and describe it as something it is not. It is not that one day you are bad and another day you are good, it is not a simple change of mood. It is a disease that lasts forever, he explains. A chronic disorder with ups and downs. Giménez acknowledges that, despite receiving the correct medication, she has had to be admitted on more than one occasion, which shows the seriousness of the pathology. This morning—on the day of the interview—I participated in a round table at a hospital. But in June, she was receiving electroconvulsive therapy, which, in the end, had a negative effect on me, he says, referring to the last trump card he had left in terms of treatment.

Nowadays, he helps others cope better. She acts as a reference for other patients, something that she lacked. The best way to help someone who has just been diagnosed is to let them know that you will be there, without trying to bring it up, he says. Between 2017 and 2018, she obtained absolute permanent disability: It took me time to accept that I was never going to work again, so I had to find a way to return the money I was collecting from society, she says. Thus, mental health entered her work area. From a very bad thing, which cost me a lot to understand and forgive myself, I was able to redirect my life into something beautiful, she says. Quite a way to convey an idea: that bipolar disorder is not just a matter of laughing now and crying later.